Immortality – A Resurgance

We look at members of our family as being immortal. We hear of something on the news or from someone else or read it in the paper, and our first reaction is usually “thankfully that won’t happen to me”. Even when something happens to extended family, it’s not the same as immediate family. If your aunt or your uncle is diagnosed with a terminal illness, then we feel for them, but we thank whoever that it isn’t our immediate family.

What happens then when it IS our immediate family. When you are told that your father has a disease that kills. Then he trials a drug and is cured. But in the meantime you are watching the weight fall from him as he vomits every night. When the tiniest drop of blood can harm you. But then he is cured and it reaffirms the notion that your family is immortal.

Then your mother becomes ill. Told there is a brain tumour. The thoughts that run through your head are too fast. They operate though and remove it. Once again, your family is immortal. Then she has something wrong with her stomach. If she doesn’t get it sorted, she’ll die. Another operation later and once again, your family is immortal.

Your sister contracts Tuberculosis (TB) and is locked in a room in hospital. They tell you that she has only one working lung and that is not 100% efficient. But she survives. Your family is immortal. Your mother has a stroke. Puts her in hospital for months. She has to learn how to use the muscles on the side of her face again. But she survives. Your family is immortal. Arthritis spreads through her body, getting to every joint and some not joints. But she remains happy because your family is immortal.

Then your father, again, parts of him start to fail. His knees, his back. He has to have operations to fix it. Which he does. Everything is good. Yes, he will have to have other operations, but that’s not a problem. After all, your family is immortal.

And then it happens. That moment that knocks you off of your feet. Has you crying in a corner because your family is supposed to be immortal. These things aren’t supposed to happen to you. They happen to other people. Not you. YOUR. FAMILY. IS. IMMORTAL!!! The doctor’s have to be wrong. They have to be. They’ve misdiagnosed. It’s not cancer. Not your mother. It’s not allowed to be. When they say it’s inoperable, they don’t know that. There’s got to be something. Your family is immortal. It turns out that they were wrong, and it was a shadow. They mistook it for something else. Once again, your family is immortal.

Your father has a heart attack, but it’s okay. He’s in hospital at the time, which proves that your family is immortal. But they find something else. But that’s okay, they deal with it. Because your family is immortal. He has to have a bypass operation, and you are happy with that because it means he truly is immortal.

But then …

Immortality fails. And there is no coming back from it. You get a call from your sister at 6.40 in the morning saying “he’s gone”. You realise immortality is not real. Immortality is what you see when you don’t want to see. Immortality is a hope you have so you don’t think about the alternative. Immortality is your hope that your family will be there forever. But they won’t. Nobody is immortal. Not in the physical sense.

They are immortal in your heart. They will live forever with you in your thoughts, and your actions. So once again, your family is immortal.

Dad
November 6th 1939 – November 22nd 2019

2017 Has Been Somewhat Peculiar

Normally I look back on a year and I think “well that was a crock of Benghazi bananas being broken, bashed, bitten, boxed and badly botched”; or “Wow. That was the best ever. Can we replay that year forever?”

2017 had the gall to be both. The year started all sucky like, with not being able to leave the house due to pain. I had to try and find other ways of entertaining myself as the house gets rather confining when you can’t leave.

It reached the stage where I could no longer walk at all and I needed a wheelchair. The doctor arranged for some home physio and Occupational Therapists to come and see me and try and get me back out again.

I found that going and watching people playing games on several gaming streaming sites kept me entertained, as I could chat with people about things I already knew about. As I chatted more and more, then some of them told me that I should start to think about doing it as well.

I tried a little last year on a different platform – Twitch –  but it didn’t go too well. So talking with people on Mixer, an “FTL” streaming platform made me think about it more. WIth FTL, there is no delay. In fact, sometimes it comes through so fast, you hear it on the stream before it comes through your headphones where someone in the party has spoken.

I figured I would give it a go. After all, what’s the worst that could happen? I would be happy if I reached 10 followers, although I knew from the outset that 25 was completely out of the question.

With the help of the physio and occupational therapists, I now use my wheelchair very little, and I have even stepped outside my house three times this year. That is a huge win for me. I am hoping to be able to get out of the house at least once a month in 2018.

So then back to the streaming. I started streaming properly in late September and by mid-October, I had beaten my goal of 10 followers dramatically. On 4th November, I reached a milestone of 100 followers. Beginning of December, I reached 200 and I set myself a goal of 300 by the end of the year.

When the flu, or whatever this pandemic is, hit me on Friday, I was on 295 followers. I never stream on a weekend as that is time for family and friends. My kids told me to do so today though. When I turned my laptop on, I was on 297 followers. I started streaming and people arrived to chat and have a giggle. Then one after the other, three people followed me, bringing my total to 300. That impossible target. 30x more than I ever thought I could reach. And then they carried on coming after I signed off. Currently, it stands at 305.

My goal for 2018 is to reach 500 followers. I just hope I haven’t put it so far out of reach that I will never attain it.

So this year, I have gone from being in a wheelchair to being able to walk (to some degree) again and going from having no followers to over 300.

It has definitely been an up and down year.

I hope 2018 is more up for myself, and I hope it is the best year of your lives for the rest of you.

Be safe, be great, be you.

Happy New Year.

Welcome 2018

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Goodbye 2016 Hello 2017

2016 has not been the best of years. Not by a long shot. It has been a very scary year if you were a celebrity, and with all the natural and mechanical disasters this year, it hasn’t been a good year if you were the average Jane or average Joe either.

So it is with a relieved breath that I say Goodbye 2016 and welcome 2017

To all of the people who read my blog – HAPPY NEW YEAR

To all the people who don’t read my blog – Happy New Year although you won’t see this.

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2016 Sucks

When I was ten, my parents took me to the cinema to see a film that would change my life. I didn’t know it at the time though. To me, I had just seen the best film ever, and the woman in it, I wanted to marry her. That was in 1977. In 1980, I went to see another film with her in. The follow-up to the previous one. They had subheadings to them now. Then in 1983, I went to see the third in the trilogy. Then I went back and watched it again, and again, and again.

I adored the female lead, and read up all about her. She was my idol. As a teenager, she was what every teen wanted to have as a wife.

Princess Leia will always, always be in my heart, and I am more than devastated over her death.

Carrie Fisher had her problems, but she fought through them, and came out the other side. She was, and always will be, my favourite.

Goodnight Princess. May the force be with you. Always.

leia19

Carrie Fisher
October 21st 1956 – December 27th 2016