The Duck (A Story From An Anonymous Friend)

A friend wrote this, and I said I would share it on my blog. The friend requested I not name them. It is a fun story.

THE DUCK

My agent says it won’t fly.
Which is apt, considering the subject of my latest children’s book.
He says he can’t find a publisher.
That, in fact, it is unpublishable in its current form.
And I need to change the title.
But, I argue, the title is also the hook, the line that repeats at the end of each segment.
It is the question each animal asks, and therefore the child who is listening, or perhaps even reading, will anticipate and remember.
This is how children learn to read, and to love reading.
The story tells of a cute little duckling who gets lost.
His whole family, Daddy, Mummy, and his seven siblings, Donald, David, Drew, Dottie, Debbie, Deirdre and Mary, go out searching for him.
Each of them meets a different animal, and explains the situation.
And each encounter ends up with the same punch line.
It is a good story, I say, built in the classic style of great children’s stories.
With an adorable collection of fluffy little creatures and an exotic array of animals – a giraffe, a fox, a crocodile, a kangaroo, a monkey, a dog, a hippo, a little bird and, of course, an elephant – you have everything needed for a great book that kids will treasure.
The publishers will not publish, he says, they say parents won’t buy it. Not with that title.
So I am faced with a rewrite.
Or, I guess, I could self-publish, prove them all wrong.
I ask you, dear reader, would you refuse to buy a book on the basis of its title?
It is catchy.
And funny.
Where the f*ck’s the duck?