The Duck (A Story From An Anonymous Friend)

A friend wrote this, and I said I would share it on my blog. The friend requested I not name them. It is a fun story.


My agent says it won’t fly.
Which is apt, considering the subject of my latest children’s book.
He says he can’t find a publisher.
That, in fact, it is unpublishable in its current form.
And I need to change the title.
But, I argue, the title is also the hook, the line that repeats at the end of each segment.
It is the question each animal asks, and therefore the child who is listening, or perhaps even reading, will anticipate and remember.
This is how children learn to read, and to love reading.
The story tells of a cute little duckling who gets lost.
His whole family, Daddy, Mummy, and his seven siblings, Donald, David, Drew, Dottie, Debbie, Deirdre and Mary, go out searching for him.
Each of them meets a different animal, and explains the situation.
And each encounter ends up with the same punch line.
It is a good story, I say, built in the classic style of great children’s stories.
With an adorable collection of fluffy little creatures and an exotic array of animals – a giraffe, a fox, a crocodile, a kangaroo, a monkey, a dog, a hippo, a little bird and, of course, an elephant – you have everything needed for a great book that kids will treasure.
The publishers will not publish, he says, they say parents won’t buy it. Not with that title.
So I am faced with a rewrite.
Or, I guess, I could self-publish, prove them all wrong.
I ask you, dear reader, would you refuse to buy a book on the basis of its title?
It is catchy.
And funny.
Where the f*ck’s the duck?

29 thoughts on “The Duck (A Story From An Anonymous Friend)

  1. Yes, Anonymous Friend – you should hook up with that Rochelle woman, I’m sure she could help with the illustrations… I cannot fathom what the problem is. And now Mary is going to think she’s adopted or something with her non-D name…

  2. [ Smiles ] Al, I have missed your blog posts. I have been so busy with my blog over at Blogger.

    By the way, things are looking good on your blog.

    Great story from an Anonymous Friend!

  3. AnElephantCant dispute this is funny
    There is nothing more comical than a duck
    And when he is delighted
    Or overly excited
    He sometimes just blurts out oh jings crivvens and help ma boab!

  4. Brilliant and hilarious story! As a teacher I believe this book would come in handy. We need to make sure children do learn to rhyme and also use all words in the proper format.
    Please pass on to the Anonymous Friend that he a fan and hope to hear more of his work. Lots of hugs would be given in return.

  5. Hilarious! I cracked (quacked ?)up so hard I nearly spit my coffee ffs!
    I certainly enjoyed the build up and all the dddds as in ducklings.
    Quite entertaining.

  6. Dear Anonymous Friend,

    I can just see this illustrated with cute baby animals in flowered meadows. I don’t know what the agent’s problem is. After all the author is only trying to broaden the children’s vocabulary with a word that serves so many by saying so little. ❤ The last line made me laugh out loud.



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