When we see something we don’t like, we criticize it. Depending on HOW we criticize, can stop someone in their tracks or cause them to look at their mistakes. Two examples of the same thing, one with constructive criticism, and one with destructive criticism.
“When he looked back, he looked at what he had done. He had run along the road, and then he had tripped over something, and then he had picked himself up, and then he had run on again”
Constructive
I liked it, but I think you need to change the format slightly. You’ve over used the word “had”. May be an idea to revise, or change the tense slightly.
Destructive
That would have been alright had you not overused the word had. It made my head hurt and my eyes bleed.
We all have ways of saying things, do we realise how we say them? Can you undo what you have said after saying them? Do some people need destructive criticism? Will constructive just have the, say “pfft!”
The way I look at it – and this is my personal opinion – is that you should always try constructive first. Suggest what can be used instead. Try a couple of different ways of saying something. “Do you think maybe you’ve had too much?”
The way something is said can stop someone’s career before it even begins. There is a judge on ITV’s Dancing on Ice in the UK and he is one of the least subtle judges with the things he has said. Some are just plain hurtful, but the skaters accept a lashing from him.
“You have to learn to move, and not appear as though you have had an accident in your pants.”
“Your smile makes you look demented!”
“…the charisma of cardboard, you are as dull as dishwater.”
“At the start you stumbled and it looked more like you were having a convulsion.”
‘The thing I like about your performance is when it’s over,’
Some people don’t like him because of his caustic remarks. The same is said of Simon Cowell.
So I ask … would you use constructive or destructive comments? Which would you prefer to receive? Would it make a difference to you?
A Mixed Bag 
I enjoy constructive criticism, I feel like the person giving it has a sincere desire to help me improve in areas.
🙂
Constructive is always better. I’ve learned this from experience. I use destructive and always get myself into trouble becuase I’m known as being too harsh. Now I’m learning how to use a filter before I speak and it makes people feel better when I think before I speak constructively.
😆 Although destructive can be right in certain circumstances. Not sure what yet though 😉
Well if you ever figure it out, please do let me know! 🙂
hehe Yep
It is because of constructive feedback (I prefer not to use criticism because of that words’ connotative negative meaning) that I write at all. I was lucky to have a few good teachers when I started. As family wasn’t really supportive. Not so much as what was said, but what wasn’t said, which wasn’t much at all. I have come to understand some of their reasons, though I don’t have to like then.
Not being skilled in grammar – I look for positive things when I comment on someone else’s writing. I go by the saying that if you can’t say anything nice, be quiet. Doesn’t always work as I can be rather opinionated and willing to speak my mind. But I try.
Thanks 🙂 Grammar is something I have problems with sometimes as well. Not bad considering when I was at school I was good with it. But ut has been 30 years
I always try to use constructive criticism. But some people don’t like being corrected no matter how you phrase your criticism. My mom always said if you haven’t anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. Now when it comes to my children they say I all ways speak negative to them. I guess I take for granted that they know I love them.
😆
My mum never said that to me. The only advice she ever gave me was “If you’re not in bed by 10pm – come home” :mrgreen”
For tv & entertainment purposes – Destructive is what I prefer. Knowing how these people are – the participants will need to go in with their heads up & keep them up. In one ear – out the other. Unfortunatley – in that biz – that’s not the worse that they will hear. So- if they can;t hande that- they’re doomed.
But – really – constructive always works best. 😉
I agree. We watch the TV programs to see what trouble the judge will get in. A couple of weeks ago, he had to apologise because he said that someone looked like they had “Locked in syndrome”. I do like what he says though. He once told someone she looked like fecal matter going down the toilet with nowhere to go.
😆 LMAO! 😆
At Talliston Writers Circle we often put work up for criticism. The first thing I always say is ‘I liked …..’ Then ‘but there are a couple of things that puzzle me…’ (ie I’m a bit dense so I may just have missed something.) Then ‘This might work better if you…’ or ‘Have you thought of doing this….’
Without some suggestion of a solution, criticism is little more than slagging off.
And ‘I just don’t like it’ is not criticism, it’s a personal judgement. I didn’t like Lord of the Rings, but I was in a minority.
This has been a public service announcment
If you aren’t being constructive, the other person probably isn’t listening, and why should they? you aren’t giving them anywhere to go. I also think if you can’t think of anything constructive to say, maybe ask the person a question about what you are looking at, it might lead to a more productive conversation.
Huh? Sorry?
😉 Just kidding. Yep, they won’t know how to improve.
Haha 🙂 I did literally just LOL!
When I taught tennis I always tried to accentuate the positive — give the learner something to build on. I did the same thing when I coached tennis. In the classroom I was a bit more critical: I can tolerate physical ineptitude better than I can intellectual stubbornness!
When i was learning to drive, my instructor filled me with confidence (not). I was driving up a hill, and I said “I always get a bit nervous about coming round this bit” and he replied with “I always get nervous the moment you start the car. Not sure if he was attempting humour or not, but I didn’t go back to find out.
Actually I haven’t used any destructive comments in all my life. But of course nothing always what I like in their writings, or etc. I try to express an alternative ways or experiences what I learned,…etc. The point is in here, some people get a big step with destructive comments but most of them withdrawn… But in constructive way, I think there is no one to withdraw… At least I think according to my own experiences… One year I had a serious surgery. In all my days in the hospital with a lovely middle-aged nurse we became a nice friend. I learned that she was writing poetry. And I asked her to read me every long nights (for me)… She was amazing. They were amazing poems but needed to be edited because of grammars. I helped her in constructive way. One year later she sent her first poetry book to me. How I was happy you can imagine… I do believe the power of constructive comments…
Thanks and Love, nia
Wow. That’s brilliant. Yes, I believe constructive is better.