An Offer of Freedom

AN OFFER – Part Four

I was stunned … again!! This place, it was becoming too much for me. Had they put make up on me? I ran my hand over my face and didn’t feel any cracks. How had I been here for four weeks?

I followed me down the corridor thinking that if I was to hit him round the back of the head now, he .. me .. I .. wouldn’t see it coming. But if he’s me, he would know what I was thinking. Derek sniggered as if he was reading my thoughts. We went through a door and Rona was there and looked from Derek to me and back to Derek again. She smiled and came over to me then ran her hand down my face, I reacted instinctively and grabbed at her hand and pulled it away. “Back off!” I snarled at her. She laughed and turned away. “I’ve got something for you to do. Your talents are useful to me. To us” and she pointed towards a window. When I didn’t move, she shook her head looking down at the floor.
“Look, jerk, I WILL have your help and you WILL give it freely.” She gave me a grin that was malicious. It made my heart jump, I found it exciting. I frowned at this thought. “You are going to teach people how to fight. I know it will be a bitch of a job, but if you want out of here …”
“Is that it?” I questioned. “All you had to was ask. There was no need for this”
“Oh but there was,” she said with that maniacal grin again. “And after you have taught them, you are free to go. You can leave as soon as they leave”

I followed her to the window and saw what seemed to be a thousand people sparring. Rona yelled: “STILL!” With that they all stopped and turned to the window. I felt the colour drain from my face. They were ALL me!!

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This part of the story was inspired by this week’s Trifecta challenge:

BITCH (noun)

1: the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals
2 a : a lewd or immoral woman
b : a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse
3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant
The story has to be between 33 and 333 words. This one was 328
You can find the previous parts of the story here, here and here.

45 thoughts on “An Offer of Freedom

  1. Looks like I already hit like to this one back in Jan. As I read this final part, I remember going back in and re-reading all the parts. But, I hate going into archives and hitting like too many times so the other blogger doesnt think I want the same thing back.

    As I re-read them again today, I say this-you my friend, are talented. This story is awesome! It’s simply wicked. I’m now like, what happens next! There’s like a thousand hims, what does he do next?

    I liked how he got caught the one time he decides to be nice. With a so chill move as a pen prick. I most enjoy that you made the ‘villan’ the main character too, I…me….that was very nice. And this Rona chick, can’t wait to see how her character develops more-she’s like the side kick but you never know! Train them how to fight, what kind of fighting, is this old school Japaneze war style? street fighting? army style?

    You’re so good at drawing us in!

    Bravo Alastair.

  2. Oh, whoops, sorry, now I realized, I thought new comments appeared at the bottom, not at the top, a little confusing, but now I see…comment is awaiting moderation, sorry, it was just a little confusing because I didn’t see it at first, sorry. You have a really good story here, reminded me a little of the movie V for Vendetta…sort of…there’s a scene in there that this particularly reminded me of…can’t remember where in the movie it was though, you should check it out, might be interested to see it…

    • I have it set so that the first comment by anyone is moderated. That way it stops undesirables and spammers. After that has been moderated, all comments are okay

  3. Ooo…Creepy! Eee…Yeesh! *blinks, shudders* 😯 This is well written, great story. But really creepy!

  4. Pingback: An Offer For My Hero | Alastair's Blog

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